Today we have a guest post on the blog by Derek Shaw.

Valentine’s Day is generally looked upon as a day where couples celebrate their love and affection for one another. It’s a day in which romantic gifts are exchanged and people across the world stealthily devise well thought out date nights to show their significant other just how much they mean to them. It’s also a day that happens to be celebrated at what you might consider a peculiar time on the calendar.

Falling smack dab in the middle of Black History Month, a time where we celebrate the achievements, culture, history & heritage of the black race and essentially promote self-love within the black community, I cannot help but to juxtapose both celebrations and observe the stark contrasts present between the concepts promoted by the two celebrations, respectively.

First, we have the concept of outwardly directed love, as is celebrated on Valentine’s Day. Then, we have the concept of inwardly directed love, as is promoted by the celebration of Black History Month. I plead that you do not misinterpret this point to think this writing is simply about the difference between Valentine’s Day and Black History Month. The greater focus here is on the differences between selfishly seeking the love of others and self-love. We’ve all heard the cliché “You can’t love anyone until you love yourself”. I’ve heard this statement countless times for Lord knows how many years but it truly becomes a life shifting phenomenon when one comes to understand this truth from a place of personal experience.

I’m certain most if not all of us who have had experiences in the world of dating have celebrated a Valentine’s Day or multiple Valentine’s Days with someone who we felt was “the one” or made us feel “complete”. The sad truth about looking outside of one’s self for personal completion is that you will never find it. On the other hand, the happy truth about searching within in an attempt to find that elusive feeling of completeness is that with persistence and dogged determination you are sure to tap into that reservoir of self-sufficiency that we are all born with but often are unaware exists because we are taught almost from birth that love is only to be found without and not within. Happy truth number two is that it is never too late to begin that journey of searching within for that feeling of completeness we all pine for deep down within.

To put it more plainly, ask yourself “how I can give someone something that I do not even have myself”. 🤔 It is impossible to pour from an empty pitcher. That being understood, the primary focus of the genuine seeker of true love should be to fill themselves up with so much self-love that their cup runneth over. The result will be a feeling above and beyond anything you could ever have dreamed of. Not only will you realize that feeling of completion we all so desperately seek but you will find that, like a magnet, you will begin to effortlessly attract the exact kind of love that you genuinely need as opposed to the kind of love that you thought you needed. This may come to you in the form of a romantic relationship or it may come in the form of a deep, soul-stirring friendship. Ultimately, the sooner you start the journey of unconditionally loving you the sooner you will realize this amazing feeling of undisturbed joy and utter completeness.

In closing, I just want to sum it all up with this thought. Overdose on self-love. It is the greatest joy in the entire universe. – @d_shizzzzle

 My name is Derek Anthony Shaw, a.k.a. D Shizzle, and I get money. 🤑


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Valentine's Day is generally looked upon as a day where couples celebrate their love and affection for one another. It's a day in which romantic gifts are exchanged and people across the world stealthily devise well thought out date nights to show their significant other just how much they mean to them.